question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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