is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
