CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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