We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
