So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
