3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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