I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It's blow job season.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
