i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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