I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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