Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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