Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
