you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
