Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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