Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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