Got a toothbrush?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't deserve a penis
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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