Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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