After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
