i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize