seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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