She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
