capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Operation Purity has been aborted
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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