You really coming over, don't trick.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
