She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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