Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
FUCK WHALES
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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