D3 body, D1 cock
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
and you fell through a lawn chair
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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