you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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