Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think I sprained my soul last night
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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