i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize