what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
