We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
3pm strippers are depressing
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
