so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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