I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
