you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
