My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
