Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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