look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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