He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize