I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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