We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
