where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
