with your own penis?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
