Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
