the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize