Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
