i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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