you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
