I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
