if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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