Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
