Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
