i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
