i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
