woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
