I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
