did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize