Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
