it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize
