There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
