Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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