So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
