I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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